CV Hustle
A Podcast created to educate, inform & inspire entrepreneurship here in our Coachella Valley.
We will be talking to some of the best & brightest entrepreneurs in the Coachella Valley about how they started their journey in entrepreneurship.
CV Hustle
Ep #16-Surviving Cancer and Creating Community: The Story of Shay's Warriors
When Shay Moraga found a lump in her breast at 38, doctors dismissed her concerns: "You're too young for breast cancer." That dismissal led to a delayed diagnosis of aggressive stage three cancer and a grueling treatment journey. But the real challenge came after she was declared cancer-free.
"Everyone celebrates and helps you through treatment," Shay explains. "Then you say 'I'm cancer-free,' and it's like a stop sign—a dead stop." She found herself alone with third-degree burns, physical changes, and the constant fear of recurrence, discovering a critical gap in cancer care: robust support exists during treatment, but little is available for survivors navigating life afterward.
Drawing from her entrepreneurial background (she owned her first home at 23 and built a successful property management business spanning Minnesota and California), Shay partnered with fellow survivor Eileen Alvarez to create Shay's Warriors. Their nonprofit offers fully-funded retreats where cancer survivors find understanding, healing, and community among peers who truly comprehend the psychological aftermath of cancer.
What began as a women's breast cancer retreat has expanded to include programs for male survivors ("Yo Bro, I'm Brave Too"), recognizing that men face unique challenges expressing vulnerability after cancer. Now partnering with the Ritz-Carlton for their signature four-day retreats, Shay's Warriors provides a transformative space where survivors can process their experiences and rediscover themselves.
Shay's story reminds us that sometimes our greatest challenges become our most meaningful contributions. By creating connection for those experiencing the isolation of cancer survivorship, she's turning her personal trauma into healing for countless others. As she puts it, "If I was paid to do this, I would be paid to do this because it's amazing to get somebody's testimonial back and say, 'literally you saved my life.'"
Ready to support this vital work or know someone who could benefit? Visit ShaysWarriors.org to learn about upcoming events or nominate a cancer survivor for their retreat program.
What is going on? Everyone, I'm Robert Mraz.
Speaker 2:And I'm Fina Mraz. And this is.
Speaker 1:CV Hustle, the podcast dedicated to supporting entrepreneurship here in the Coachella Valley, and today we've got a special guest. We're going to kind of take a U-turn and talk a little bit today about nonprofits. Now you may say, well, nonprofits is not a business. But actually, if you think about it, nonprofits fill gaps where businesses and government can't really feed the need of the people. That's where the nonprofits step in. So today we have a real special guest. She not only runs a nonprofit Shays Warriors but she also runs her own business as well HOA Toolkit. And that guest today is Shay Marenka. Thank you for coming in, thank you for having me Good to see you.
Speaker 2:I'm so happy that you came and are going to hang out with us, because I feel like you've got a lot to teach me right? Well, I hope so. No, I'm just kidding, no you will. You will. So I want to know because Shay and I met. I don't know if you remember this, but Shay and I met through a mutual client that I have, and one day she walked into my showroom and we just hit it off Right, and we just sat there and like, talked and talked and talked and I'm like, oh shit, I got to go back to work.
Speaker 2:But it was just sister love from the beginning.
Speaker 3:It was like this energy that just kind of blew up. I'm like, oh my gosh, this is definitely my sister from another mister and she's a Scorpio too, literally a day apart A day apart that explains it 18.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly. But so when I met you, I know you were, you know you had been the owner of Shays Warriors right, or the founder for a long time. But I want to delve into. Well, let's take it back a little bit, not too far back, but you grew up where, where were you born and how did you get into the business part? Let's talk about that first, because I think that's what came first.
Speaker 3:I think that's one thing that most people don't know about me, or they assume, is that I grew up in the Midwest, which I did partly. But if we take it back to where I was born, I was born in Ventura, california, so not too far up the coast. We lived in that area until I was about 10 years old and then my mom and dad decided to up us kids and move to a small farm town in central Wisconsin. The thing is is about the valley. I've been in the valley since I was under a year old. My grandparents came down here in the early 70s. They built their homes for my great grandmothers and us, and I spent almost every summer and every holiday of my life out here with my family.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, Palm Springs has the perfect pools during summertime, right it?
Speaker 3:does, or Palm Desert, yeah so, and went to church in Indio like forever and I mean I remember actually Fred Waring, where my family's homes were. Literally it was a dirt road when I was a kid.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, yeah, that's how far it went, I love it. I remember La Quinta, when you know I grew up Jehovah's Witnesses Right, we had to go knock on doors, or my parents, my mom did and we had to drive from one house to the next because there was just dirt. So that you know it's kind of funny.
Speaker 3:I know it's weird, because, like I remember being the kid and in my grandparents' pool in the backyard, 7, 7.30 at night, I'd be laying there in their lounge chair or whatever and there would be two planes that always went to the airport and that is consistent from when I was a kid, even to today, like it must have been, like I think it was like American Airlines or something.
Speaker 3:I looked it up one day because I remember being that kid and being like someday I'm going to live here, someday I'm going to raise my family here, like the whole nine yards and of course, here we are.
Speaker 2:So you went over back east when you were small and is it because your parents had a job? So you grew up there, you went to high school there and then what happened?
Speaker 3:I guess. Yeah, my dad's family owned a large heating and air conditioning company in Chicago and we were in Chicago for like a split second. But he didn't want us kids growing up in Chicago. It was pretty rough in the area and just the traffic and everything. Chicago's a great town, don't get me wrong. Oh, believe me, but my dad had seven brothers and two sisters, so it was a whole family business and, again, entrepreneurs, right. And he just said you know, I want my kids to grow up on a farm, where I did. And they grew up on this farm because when they were small a lot of the brothers would get into brawls and everything in the early 40s and 50s. And so my grandfather, like, sent them up to the farm and they worked, and so my grandfather, like, sent them up to the farm and they worked you know, and did all that I did not work a farm.
Speaker 3:Luckily, we were in the mini city. Riding a tractor is pretty cool, but my love for real estate and homes and everything came from my dad, because my brother was. My brother is 11 years younger than I am, so I was the eldest. I had a hammer and tools for as long as I can remember and a dirt bike. I was very much a tomboy and my dad would take me around and he would show me how to fix things everything from tiling to flooring to showers, plumbing and heating and air conditioning.
Speaker 3:He literally showed me that, from the time that you know, I was seven years old talking how to cook Like I owe everything to my dad and I grew up in an old, 1800th, old Victorian home. So I was like the kid that was in the round room with the little you know, I felt like Cinderella in there and it was great. Like the kid that was in the round room with the little you know, I felt like Cinderella in there and it was great. Yeah, it was just again. It was in this very old, historic town of about 630 people.
Speaker 2:So everybody, knew everybody. You could have started a handy woman business. I could have. I would have been way ahead of my time back then.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, so that's. But yeah, I went to high school there. It was great. I hated the town while I was there because, again, when you're talking about 600 people, it was very small. Everybody was up in your business. And the other thing is, I was this kid from California.
Speaker 2:So You're kind of always an outsider.
Speaker 3:I was always the outsider, and we're talking generations on, generations of farmers and farmers' kids that wanted to be there. So I always felt a little out of place because during the time where they're getting together with their families, we're flying out here to be with my mom's side of the family and everything, and you know we're going to Chicago to be with my dad's side of the family. So it was a little hard growing up but again I was a tomboy. So you know like I literally had some five of my best friends still to this day from high school are all guys and we've been in each other's weddings and saw each other's.
Speaker 3:You know children grow up and it's, you know, it's been great. And now I appreciate it when I go back there because it's very serene and the farm country it's like different than a city. But I'm definitely a city girl because then, when I graduated high school, I moved to Minneapolis-St Paul.
Speaker 2:I still haven't gone there.
Speaker 1:I heard it's like freaking awesome.
Speaker 3:You know what she should go in the winter? Because then you can go to Mall of America, because everything is there and there's no sales tax on clothes or shoes, by the way. Oh, we should go.
Speaker 2:Well, I have a lot of clients that are from there. Yeah, yeah. So you know who's from there, good old Wicca.
Speaker 1:Right Minnesota, love right there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so yeah, minnesota is great and it's an awesome city. I always call it one of the most perfect cities in the United States because it's not too big, not too small. It has all of these, like you know, sub-cities that are all around the larger cities, and it's very similar to the Coachella Valley because, as we know, in the Coachella Valley, like if you live on the Indio or Palm Desert side, you don't go to Palm Springs and vice versa.
Speaker 3:Well, minneapolis-st Paul is similar to that. If you live on Minneapolis side, you rarely go to St Paul, and vice versa, but the old money and the old homes, historic homes, are really in St Paul, and then the newer money and the newer homes and track homes and all of that is in Minneapolis. So it's really it's very, very similar to being here in the Valley.
Speaker 2:Do they have the mountains? No, and what about traffic? See, that's why I like, I don't know that I could ever move to a big place, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't do well with traffic.
Speaker 2:No, because I'm such a psycho Like, let's go.
Speaker 3:I would say that personally, because I drive all the time and I did while I was there as well. Traffic is worse here than it is in the cities and because you get to know when the rush hours are Sure and there are so many more side roads that you can go down to get to home, versus just the freeways or anything like that. So, yeah, traffic's not bad, but it's bad if you are during those times and of course they have, like you know, they have the whiz through the little. You know what are they called?
Speaker 1:Express lanes, express lanes and everything. Yeah, got to have the express lanes. So what did you? Go to school?
Speaker 3:So what school did you go to and did you study to be like I want to open my own business? How did that?
Speaker 1:kind of yeah, how what?
Speaker 3:was the evolution on the evolution of me wanting to have my own business actually goes way back to third grade. Oh, wow, yeah. So, and it actually was at my high school graduation that my third grade teacher pulled this piece of paper out that said, like do you realize that that's all you wanted to do? And it was.
Speaker 3:I used to make these little magnets for you know like you pop them in your oven and you make them for your family, and so I would sell them three for a buck or whatever, because I wanted to earn money to pay for the Christmas gifts for my little brother and my parents. So I put all of these posters up around the school and I was like three for a dollar or, you know, five for five bucks oh my God, I love that.
Speaker 2:You know, that's awesome.
Speaker 3:It's crazy, right. And basically like I got caught by the school, like my teacher's like what are you doing? You can't do this, you can't be like hustling kids at school. And I was like, yeah, but it's for the fair. And they're like, well, no, you optimize on the fair itself. And I was like, well, so that's where I came. I was a junior in college and my friend at the time. We decided that we did not want to live in a dormitory, so we invested in a condo and in that condo, decided to fix it up and once we were done with school, we went to the next condo. He actually moved out and moved into another condo in the same building. We invested in that and we decided to rent the condo that I was living in.
Speaker 3:Yeah and go from there, and that's kind of how it started. Then people started asking us to rent their properties and to manage the HOAs, and this all came before 2008.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:And to get to your question, because I realize I skipped over that. So I went to the University of Minnesota Twin Cities. I am a proud Golden Gopher. Thank you, I was a theater communications major, so with a background of also a minor in art, pr, marketing communications, but I worked in the theater department building set designs. I originally thought that I was going to go on Broadway and build and paint sets, but that didn't happen.
Speaker 3:I mean it did for like three months when I was in Hollywood, and then I was like, yeah, this isn't for me, and so it fell back onto that management Property management. Yeah, Because my dad always told me save your money for a rainy day and the best way to invest is always through real estate.
Speaker 1:That's true, that's our family motto too right.
Speaker 2:Do you have your real estate license? No, I just got mine last year, and it's, I mean, I'm like we're going to be buying and selling real estate till we die, yeah, right so, and it's, and we, I mean we're also trying to, like you know, have our kids not saying like we're trying to set them up for them, you know, forever, but they'll learn from us, right so?
Speaker 1:That's the hope. At least, that's the hope. So you're what at this point? When you started the business, how old were you?
Speaker 3:23. 23.
Speaker 1:So you're already in the real estate game, fixing up houses. At 23 years old, I mean that's pretty impressive.
Speaker 2:It was before all those shows came out on TV, it made it look like yeah, it was just this. Everything just happened this quick.
Speaker 3:It really came naturally to me. This and everything just happened this quick. It really came naturally to me and you know, when I was doing the theater tech design and all of that and the set stuff, it really kind of was some of the same things, because you think about, if you're doing a Shakespeare set, right, you're finding furniture, you're building something, a set, that is to that era, and the niche that we had in St Paul is the old Victorian homes, hence, which I grew up in and my dad taught me how to kind of re-varnish different things and strip things and bring it back to life.
Speaker 3:And in the theater department we always had this motto that you know bring something back to life to make it beautiful again or leave it better than what it came with.
Speaker 2:So yeah, okay, so we are familiar with HOAs, yep, and do you have any advice? Let me no.
Speaker 1:There is no advice, I'm just saying out of that All right.
Speaker 2:You know what Some are better than others. There is no advice, I'm just saying out of that. All right, you know what Some are better than others and you want to know. What's so funny is I just got sworn in as president to our HOA. Oh Lord, I'm like wait a minute. How did that just happen? And I was like okay, as a president, I expect the vice president to take all my work up. There you go.
Speaker 3:It's easy.
Speaker 2:It is a thankless job. It is a thankless job, I know. I mean, we have like, where we live there's an HOA and I just feel so bad. The homeowners yes, rightly so. There's certain things that you know that you can gripe about, but, gosh, some of these people get really mean.
Speaker 3:I'm like there's two things that I've learned over life that you don't mess with right Three things actually Family, money and their homes, because it's all very, very personal to me Sure that's true, absolutely.
Speaker 1:So we're in Minnesota still.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And we're still building the business. How did you so? Did you come to California? I mean, how did you get back? Because we know you from Shea, coming from the Coachella Valley, you know Coachella Valley superstar that runs all these nonprofits. How did that? How did you go from Minnesota to kind of transferring your life out here?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so, like I said, I mean I've been kind of back and forth from the Coachella Valley ever since I was literally eight months old, kind of back and forth from the Coachella Valley ever since I was literally eight months old, so it really was a natural progression. After I was done with college I moved right here to the valley.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:Wouldn't you get sick of the snow? Or did you love it? I?
Speaker 3:don't know. I don't like the ice, I like the snow, and besides, you can layer, you can look cute, you can have a boot Cute little.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, rock that baby. Come on now. Come on, we need to go, we need to go. Okay, let's go, I don't know, but you have to go to the bathroom. Oh my God, bobby hates the snow, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm a California kid. No thanks, no thanks.
Speaker 3:I mean, right after college, I called my grandparents and I said, hey, I want to move there. I have, like you know, probably $300 to my name. I'm going to pack up my Saturn, I'm going to have everything with me, and can I just, can you guys help me out for a few months? And my grandparents were very, very strict, very strict. They said three months, you can live with us rent-free for three months.
Speaker 1:And after that and then get it together, girl You're out.
Speaker 3:So you have to find a job. So I came to the Coachella Valley. I literally started interviewing right away for jobs and I started with a fitness company. Really, yeah. It was a fitness, it was a sales, like you know, selling memberships.
Speaker 1:Oh, you were in sales, back in sales With that beautiful smile.
Speaker 3:It was like do you remember Hoots, hoots, palm Desert? It used to be Palm Desert Athletic Club. I think that I remember and all of that Also, alessandro, and it was. So it wasn't very far away from my grandparents' house so I could literally walk if I needed to or anything, and I would see people coming in and out all the time there was. You know what are the? I don't even know what it's called. It's not pickleball, but what's the other ones? Or?
Speaker 2:tennis Inside a room Ping pong Ping pong. It's like faster the tiny little ball, racquetball, racquetball.
Speaker 3:So they had racquetball carts, they had a gym, they had I think they had a swimming pool in the back even. But it was crazy and it was this traveling company that went around selling as many memberships as you can and very easy for me to do.
Speaker 3:I mean, I was like just whipping through memberships and then I would catch people and I'd be like, oh, these people are sneaking in every night. They definitely don't have a gym membership. So I went up to two of the guys and I said, hey, how's it going? And I'm like I don't think you checked in at the front desk and I wasn't even a front desk person. I remember I was just there to sell memberships. And they're like, oh, I must have forgot my pass or whatever. I'm like, oh, can I get your driver's license? And they're like okay, you busted us. We don't have one. We've been doing this for like two years. I was like, oh, okay, well, if you don't want me to tell, then you're going to sign up, and all your friends are going to sign up tonight.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 3:And so that's what happened, and of course, I sold them. The largest package there was because I was stupid. We've got to make up.
Speaker 2:We've got to make up for that time.
Speaker 3:And the guy was like so fun. It was like, hey, you're kind of like sassy, so you should come work with us, we're working. And I was like, oh, what is that? And and they're like, oh, the yellow pages. And. I was like really, what is this all about? And I think he had like a check in his wallet or something. He showed me a check at that time for $23,000. And it was for two weeks Shut up. No, and I was like blown away.
Speaker 1:Let's bring it back Really. This is pre-Google, obviously.
Speaker 3:Way pre-Google.
Speaker 3:It was like pre-internet everything right and I'm like, oh my God, I'm like you really made that much money in two weeks. It's like, oh yeah, new business, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, well, how does the yellow pages make money? Like I had no idea, it was the ads that were in there, sure, sure, right. And then I was like, oh my God, so I think I had it this time. I mean again, poor college student living with your grandparents trying to make a living, right. And of course, I was still like hanging out at night with friends that I met in the valley right away and I think I had like 200 bucks left to my name or maybe 150.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh. And I went and I got a suit and had an interview with this place that they had worked for, which at that time was called the Desert Pages. I don't know if you guys remember that.
Speaker 2:I think I remember that. I think I do remember that it was in a white book with the mountains in the back or something. Yeah, it was like mountains. There was a mountain on.
Speaker 3:There was a flower on it at one time. There was a golf course guy Verizon at the time you know, and I walked in and I was waiting for that interview and of course they were like oh, we're sorry, we're not going to be able to see you or anything. So I had to go buy a new suit, of course with like two bucks to my name. Came back like a week later, they interviewed me and they hired me on the spot. But it was telephone sales. I hated telephone sales.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's the worst.
Speaker 3:So I figured out every single way to get on the phone, figure out how to get people to like me within literally less than a minute, yeah, and then get them to invite me to their business, and once I got in front of them, it was a done deal.
Speaker 2:It was a done deal.
Speaker 3:And I sold 21 new sales a day. Oh, my God, and that's how I earned a ton of money to stick back into my real estate company to continue to invest and buy properties. Oh my God, while everyone else was partying, I was just like investing at that time in stock markets and all of that and the rest is kind of history.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you a fun fact, I owned my first home at 23. Love it. Of course you did, and so did you, scorpio, I know, I know Can't help it.
Speaker 1:That's Scorpio power right here. I didn't own anything at 23. I didn't even own the shirt on my back at 23 probably.
Speaker 2:But at 24, you owned my heart. Oh, that's right.
Speaker 1:Then my life changed for the better. Here I go Well. Valentine's Day is coming up, that's true, there you go, there you go. But enough about us.
Speaker 3:I love that.
Speaker 1:So 23, you're back in the real estate game. Selling, selling. What are you selling? Ads, or are you selling?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm selling advertising and doing advertising and marketing helping people grow their businesses, Because at that time and this being an area where it was a highly used tool to help businesses, people, you know, people come from all over the world here and they're so transient, you know, the only thing they had was really the yellow pages to look up plumbers to look up attorneys and everybody's A+, yeah, a+, everything's A A.
Speaker 1:A, a, and that was a good marketing strategy. If you're broke, just name your business with an A and it'll be at the top of the pages.
Speaker 2:Did you ever deal with the lady or the person or company that was selling ads on tables? No, no, okay, that was a whole racket. I know at some point yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, whatever. I don't know who that is, I don't either. Okay.
Speaker 2:So, okay, let's jump into some stuff here. Okay, Is that how you met your husband? How did you meet your husband? Like because how did you guys?
Speaker 3:meet. We met back in Minnesota.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Oh, so he's a transplant too, you brought him out here, Okay okay, I see how you were doing I follow you, there you go. So how did you get the real estate thing going again? So you said you started investing. Were you buying properties at that point?
Speaker 3:Yeah, buying properties, renting those properties out, properties renting those properties out. And then we were being started to ask at that time can you rent out other people's properties as well?
Speaker 1:So you're doing the same thing you were doing in Minnesota. Basically right, you already had the blueprint.
Speaker 3:Yep, I already had the blueprint and everything here, so you have properties here. I did. Yeah, I only have one property now here, but at the time we had three properties here. Got it. It's just the biggest thing. If anyone has ever done rentals here in California. The laws are so different.
Speaker 2:They're so for the tenant right, Aren't they? For the tenant?
Speaker 1:I plead the fifth, on that we don't want to make it a political show.
Speaker 3:They're so challenging and Minnesota is really challenging too but since I had the bulk of my business there, I kept investing in that area Absolutely so smart. It really is. It's another. Just like the Coachella Valley, it's a golden nugget of the world because there are so many Fortune 500 companies there and everything like that?
Speaker 2:What the hell you need to take me there. We need to go. Yes, okay, open a store out there. Oh shit, seattle. Everybody tells me to go out to Seattle. I don't know why.
Speaker 1:It rains too much. It rains too much in Seattle. You'd be depressed, I would be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe I'd bring the sunshine Right.
Speaker 1:So we're entrepreneurs now, how long till you kind of quit your job and do that full time Was?
Speaker 3:there like a reflection point where you're like I'm going to do this by myself. I was at the top of my game in advertising, sales and marketing and in 2000, right around 2007 or 2000, you know the markets were starting to change right. Remember when that bubble hit the first time? Remember when that bubble hit the first time, but I was really in 2007,. I was already selling as much as I could because I knew I was going to quit in 2008 when that bubble was going to burst, did you?
Speaker 1:kind of see that coming. Yeah, I guess I'm a trend reader.
Speaker 3:I don't know, like you know, I just I have hunches right and I'm not trained in anything. I just really instinctively have this hunch that things are going to happen Intuition baby.
Speaker 3:And the intuition was that if everyone lost their homes, sadly because those mortgages burst, they were going to need a home because we're talking, many families and all of that and I was going to rent them a home because we're talking, many families and all of that, and I was going to rent them a home. And that's exactly what ended up happening. And then our business just kind of took off and I put everything online before the whole COVID thing happened, and so everything was able so that I could come back and forth from the Coachella Valley, because I was already living in the Coachella Valley in 2008,. Right, you know, I was living here. So it was great. I mean, right after college I moved out here, so I would go back and forth from Minnesota, back and forth from Minnesota check on the properties you still do and I still do.
Speaker 2:I was like you still do, okay, take me on one of those times, okay, but well then, there came a big turning point, right? Yes, 2016,.
Speaker 3:You know, life was going great and grand and everything was fine. And then, all of a sudden, I found a lump in my right breast and didn't think anything of it. I had just had a physical from my you know doctor and when I called to ask them, like, hey, I think I found a lump and they're like oh, don't worry about it, you're fine, you're too young for breast cancer. How old were you? 38. Oh wow, I was 38 at the time. And so I never had a mammogram or anything like that, really.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, because you don't get them until a certain age, right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, at that time the age was 45 that you didn't get them.
Speaker 3:So it wasn't until just this past year that they lowered the age limit to age 40. So it took me another month to get in to that doctor and she found the lump and I had to show her that and she's like interesting, we'll get you in, but I'm sure it's nothing, it's probably just a cyst, like again shoving it off. And I get that. You know they don't want to worry you or anything like that, right. And then the first time I ever had a mammogram done, the lady looked at me and she's like, do you have kids? And I was like, yeah, I have a 12-year-old. And she's like, doctor will take good care of you. And I knew right away. I'm like, okay, they see something.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Because they're not supposed to say shit, right, they're not supposed to. Oh, I'd slap her.
Speaker 3:Needless to say I didn't stay with those doctors, yeah, yeah, which we won't go into.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know cancer happens and then it was a year of. It was one of the most aggressive cancers for women under 40 that hit me.
Speaker 2:I was at stage three already, and I had yeah. Oh my gosh, that's going to be scary, because that's like always the first question right, like what stage are you at? Yeah, kind of thing.
Speaker 3:I mean it took like a month and a half to figure all that stuff out, because you have to do scans and biopsies and blood work and more scans and it's a very, very, very overwhelming process. For anyone who's never gone through cancer. It's just, you are like a deer in headlights, it's just like overwhelming and everybody is coming to you asking you you have to have doctor's appointments. And it's scary because, of course, when you know that you have cancer have doctor's appointments. And it's scary because, of course, when you know that you have cancer, you don't know where it's at. You don't know if it's spread. Are you gonna live, are you gonna die?
Speaker 2:I mean yeah, it's like a whole new world that you're exposed to that you don't want to be right. It's like, oh my god, okay, did it run in your family?
Speaker 3:um. Both of my aunts, on each side of the family, had breast cancer but, the thing about cancer is, unless you have the BRCA gene, it's doesn't matter really. There there's still no studies that it's not hereditary that way. Um, so, like both of my aunts, they had different types of cancer than I did, so then there's still studies out there on why that happens, right?
Speaker 2:So one of the things and I do want to hear more I'm always preaching about 23andMe. I swear to God I should be one of their sponsors. I love that thing because I mean it tells me you hate cilantro and I hate cilantro, but it also tells me you do not have the BRCA gene. You are going to be, you know, likelihood to get diabetes. Is this and like I mean it is like super detailed, so I mean that might help somebody. I don't know if I just thought that could help so many people like get on, like okay, I have this gene. I got to really pay attention.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I mean, I think 23andMe is a good tool. There's a lot of other tools I get out there to to be useful, especially if you have, you know, any type of cancer, any type of disease within your family that you think you don't want to have. But it's good to be able to know all your cards. You know what you're playing with.
Speaker 2:So then they say hey, and so you're here. And then they said okay, hey, here's kind of the plan, right, and then that was getting chemo, and that I mean what do you do when that happens? Because you had a job right. So it's like what happens to that and you know, how do you? How do you keep surviving if you know you're trying to work?
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, the first thing is is I had I had a Zoom call with, like my team and it was. It was just like, hey, I'm going to take some time away right now. My business partner at the time took on a lot in the majority of my work. I still was able to work because, again, I had set everything up remotely so that it was a lot easier for me.
Speaker 3:So I still did the marketing, the advertising, the connections a lot of the answers of the emails, the connections, a lot of the answers of the emails. But I could not know. I could no longer fly back and forth for over a year because my, my therapy or my chemotherapy was weekly. So I would sit for anywhere from, you know, anywhere from three to five hours, and then I was just wiped for about three days and obviously my daughter was still in school. So I was driving her to school and picking her up and I had an amazing community here in the Valley.
Speaker 3:My daughter went to Sacred Heart at the time, so it was like all the mamas wrapped us up and just helped with whatever we needed. If I couldn't go somewhere, I would have a friend drop her off, pick her up. Um, you know, she was, and she was actively in sports and dance and volleyball and the whole nine yards like I. Whatever it was. I didn't want what was going on with me to affect her life in any way. I wanted to be as normal as possible and, um, there was a time where she didn't want any of her friends to know that mom had cancer either. So I had a custom wig that was made for me so it looked just like my own hair. But every week for 20 weeks I did like I said three to five hours of chemotherapy. It was called the Red Devil Cocktail to be honest.
Speaker 3:You know, think about that. You have this and this is where, like the education behind the words on cancer is like who the heck wants to rub a devil going through your veins? You know like come on, let's change that terminology somewhere out there. And then, after that was done, I had surgery. And then, after that was done, I had 38 rounds of radiation.
Speaker 2:Wait a minute. So the chemo didn't like kill any of it, it does, but the doctor, yeah, the chemo didn't like kill any of it, it does, but the doctor Like it shrinks it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the chemo is meant to like, shrink the tumor as much as possible, and for me it did shrink it, okay. And so I was like, yay, I'm done. And then the doctor said, yeah, but you need to do radiation because of the severity of what you had and if your triple negative comes back, there might not be a new cure, like we can't do the same thing again because you can only have so much of this chemo cocktail. And I was like, oh, but I don't want to do radiation, because radiation was scarier to me than the chemo was. I mean, I was 100% certain I was going to die from one or the other.
Speaker 2:That's just how it was Well, yeah, I mean, that's where your mind goes, and then your body's just. You're like how much more can my body take?
Speaker 3:right, exactly, exactly, and it you know, they give you boosters at the end, and it's just at the end and it's just, it's. It's nasty for me, luckily, I ate a very, very clean diet. Um, I continue to do meditation, I continue to do yoga. Um, I continue to even jump on a spin bike every now and then. Um, so for me, it was all this journey of really making sure that I was trying to keep my life as normal as possible, and but I had to rest, because when you are going through something like that and you are sleeping, your body is shut down.
Speaker 3:The drugs and everything that they give you, that's working over time, you know, it's working over time in your kidneys, in your liver, it's working to get any of the cancer cells out of your body and you don't know where those cells are going. Right, I mean, it could be in your hand, it could be in your foot. So the chemo cocktail they gave me was, on purpose, very aggressive, to kill whatever was in my body. And then the doctor said, yeah, you have to do radiation, and I was like, but why, how long did that last 38 rounds?
Speaker 2:So yeah, and I was like but why, how long did that last 38 rounds?
Speaker 3:So yeah, so is it like weekly, every single day, for?
Speaker 1:and it was the most annoying thing.
Speaker 3:It wasn't too far away from here actually, but every single day, um, they would radiate through the breast and underneath the arm in in the areas where the tumors were found, and it was to kill anything that was around where possibly the chemo didn't get to. Because you can have with triple negative, they have, I guess, these like cancer cells that will hide behind another cell, or like a good cell. So, yeah, wow that's hard.
Speaker 3:Every single day. They would zap you for 10 minutes and then it was over and it was just the most annoying and crazy thing. And you had to do it five days a week. So you got the weekend off, but by the end I had third-degree burns underneath my right arm and throughout my breast. Oh my gosh, yeah, it was redder than these tops.
Speaker 2:Yeah, your skin was like stop it.
Speaker 3:It was. I had to take a break because it was so bad.
Speaker 2:So then they say come back in like what a year. How do you?
Speaker 3:So, after it's all done, they do your pathology again. They check to see if there's any cancer cells or anything like that, and they give you clear margins or they don't give you clear margins. If you don't have clear margins, you have to have more chemo, more radiation, to get clear margins. Luckily for me, I had the most amazing surgeon and when I walked in he was actually looking at my paper I'll never forget. And he had tears in his eyes and he's like kid, I have no idea what this is, but you shouldn't have this. And I was thinking, oh my God, oh my God, like I'm going to die, like it didn't work. And he's like you have an angel sitting on your shoulder because your cancer is gone.
Speaker 3:Wow, and doctors usually don't say that, right, yeah. And he's like get in there, I'll talk to you more, you know, after this. But he's like you're, you're good to go, and now we will see you. And I think at that time they saw me every three weeks for or maybe they saw me every week for blood work still and then it got to be three months, and then three months got to be six months, and then six months. Now we're at just every year I see them and of course I still go in for my mammogram, and you know all of that stuff, but you you know.
Speaker 2:So after your cancer, because that's what Shays Warriors is all about, right, so it's the after-cancer journey, because you found what or what wasn't out there.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I was really looking for other women that had young families like I did, to connect with, because what I found is that everyone is celebrating and helping you through the journey of going through the treatments, Right. And then you say, hey, I'm cancer free. And then it's like a stop sign, a dead stop, and there is not a lot of support because everyone goes back to their lives, which rightfully they should. Sure, you know they've gotten to you to this point. Then they've been this cheerleader for you the whole time.
Speaker 3:And then you're sitting there with third degree scars and burns and a half a breast or no breasts right, that's an amputation. You no longer know what it's like to have this downtime and go out without constantly worrying in your head all the time is this cancer going to come back? Because the probability of my cancer coming back and a lot of other women's cancer coming back within the first year is huge and if it does come back, it's going through this whole process again and in my case, if it came back, the probability of me living was like next to none at that time because they didn't have extra drugs and everything.
Speaker 1:Because every year, more and more studies are coming out More and more advanced medicines are coming out to help people, right?
Speaker 3:So yeah, it was this mindset of like I have a headache now and that's brain cancer. I have a bone ache and now it's bone cancer. Oh yeah, I just couldn't get over the fact that you also are in this tunnel for the year that you're going through cancer, and then all of a sudden it's like you lived on adrenaline for a year and now it's done. You don't know how to kind of get back to normal.
Speaker 2:Cause you can't just forget you just want to do this.
Speaker 3:It's like PTSD and trauma and you know your relationships change with your friends and with your family and it's like you see the world literally differently and the things that matter to you at one point in time don't matter anymore Sure. Yeah, Like there is so much more than that. Yeah, it's a hard journey to get back into life. You can't, you don't. You're no longer who you once were.
Speaker 2:It's hard. So you found yourself saying, okay, I got to do something about this, right.
Speaker 3:Well and I looked in town and there were lots of support for people going through cancer. And then all of a sudden it's like where is? The stuff for life after cancer and that's what our blog had started every Thursday when I was going through cancer and finally, that lot I would you know write every.
Speaker 3:Thursday morning and then, finally, I put life after cancer this sucks and just went into writing that way. And then people were really like thousands of people were connecting and saying I feel this way too. I was a cancer survivor. I feel this way too. And I was like, wow, I didn't know. Everyone is out there. I'm like, well, if no one's doing this here in the Valley, why don't I bring it here? Because when I did find things, it was on the East Coast. You know there are services there, but it was like a lot of online stuff and nobody wants to be online. They need a connecting person, and there used to be something called Gilda's Club out here. But I mean they, yeah, they're gone.
Speaker 2:They're not in the area anymore and I think there's only maybe four or five in the entire world now. It's really hard to keep a nonprofit going right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, nonprofits are just like running a business, right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, with a lot more red tape and a lot more restrictions, yes, and it costs a lot of money to continue to run and start a nonprofit. And that's kind of where I talked to my friend, eileen Alvarez, who also was a breast cancer survivor, and she was the one who kind of helped me through the whole process. And I went to a yoga retreat process and I went to a yoga retreat and for that whole week I journaled and thought about okay, what is my life going to look like now? I can't go back to this property management and just get back into the job and you know everything's good and go out and party with friends. It's like life is so different and I need to find a way to heal and get back to the new Shea because it's different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I see things differently.
Speaker 3:And I called her on the I-10 and I said, hey, I know what we're going to do. And she's like, okay, what are we going to do? I was like you're going to be my co -founder? And she's like, okay, and she's like laughing. I said we're going to start a nonprofit and that nonprofit is going to be all about life after cancer and we're going to build support. We're going to do a retreat for women at the time it was just women who have gone through breast cancer because we need this and it's going to be fully paid for. And she's like, oh my God, that's going to be expensive. I go, yeah, I know, but I can do it, we can do it. And she's like, okay, Because I'm like are you in? And she's like, yes, I'm in. And that's how it started.
Speaker 1:What year was this that was?
Speaker 3:in 2017.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you were just coming out, I was just coming out of my process.
Speaker 3:But for me and the person that I've always been, I work through a lot of healing and trauma and things and it's what makes me thrive to figure out the pieces of the puzzle and that's the entrepreneurial mind I guess you would say. I would say, and you know it also, I noticed that when I connected with other people and Eileen connected with other people, we were really able to all heal each other together. We were stronger and there's nothing like that.
Speaker 2:We are building a community of thrivers. Yeah, you have that whole bond. I mean it's great because a lot of I know a lot of people that are involved in your community and your, your charity, so I think that's I mean it's fantastic and you do work so hard to keep it going and keep people, your name out there and things like that and but at the same time, like think about how much good you've done. You know what I mean. So you're definitely going to heaven. It's not anytime soon, but you know what I mean. But seriously, I mean we well I shouldn't say we run a nonprofit, but Bobby and I are on the board for our son's tackle football team and it takes a ton of money to run that thing.
Speaker 1:It's a lot of work, A lot of work yeah.
Speaker 2:So how did you end up up? Because I know you did yoga and I think you did that at Sunnyland. So, like you ended up getting some big sponsors, I would imagine that that kind of helped you get it going.
Speaker 3:Or how did? How did that all kind of come together? I started teaching yoga for Eisenhower in 2008, early 2018. Got it, Eisenhower, in 2008, early 2018. Got it.
Speaker 3:We decided to start writing grants for the nonprofit right away and our first grant that we were given was by Bighorn BAM, Bighorn Cares, oh yeah, and Selby Dunham, who was the founder of that. She's the one who gave us our first $5,000 grant and it was amazing because we're like, wow, someone really believed in us, you know, and they understand this walk and this process as well, because her story if you've ever followed on her story, I mean, she was an amazing woman that we lost a few years back. But you know, her story was very similar. It's like there's not enough of equipment at Eisenhower to do this, so she started that with Bighorn to be able to find some of that equipment and that stuff. And that's very similar to what we did, but we just did it in a different way because we want to help and make sure that people understand they're not alone through the mind-body connection, Because after that cancer journey you don't want to keep going back to the doctor all the time and doing that, and there are amazing therapists that are out there.
Speaker 3:There's nothing like having a community of peers that understand the walk of your journey and the PTSD and what's scaring, and because we all have the same of your journey and the PTSD and what's scary, Because we all have the same thing in common and that it's we want to live a long and wonderful life, want to see our kids and our grandkids and we want to be the old people that you know one day. Just go to sleep and that's it you know.
Speaker 2:So then the retreats were planned like way in advance, right? So what did those look like to you then, and what did they look like now?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so their retreat is very similar now as it was then, it's just gotten a little larger. We did a full buyout of the Ingleside Inn for our very first retreat. We went to them over there and they were were Yvonne is her name and she was amazing. We said like, hey, we want to do this cancer survivor retreat for 25 women and this is what we're looking at. We want to do some movement. We want to do, we want to allow the survivors to be able to relax and reset and renew themselves and we don't want them to pay for anything. Um, we'll take care of some of those sponsorships and that was through the grants. And then we went and got sponsors and I think you might've even sponsored us on our very first retreat to being as tileded and it was. It was great because this was a way to bring people together in almost. Um, it was like on steroids, right, like three days and two nights back then, and there's nothing like people that when you walk through a door, they already understand your connection.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's something you guys all have in common, and it's a bond instantaneously.
Speaker 3:And then we wrote. I wrote content with a couple of other people that we literally went through the entire time of what this cancer journey is and what it does, and we made sure that there's actually like a workbook and everything.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so you do. Since you used to do the marketing for other things in your life, I'm assuming you do the marketing for this or is that? What's going on with that?
Speaker 3:I definitely have a lot of drive in the marketing of Shays Warriors, but we hire an outside marketing firm. My daughter actually helps with some of that. Yeah, but we hire an outside marketing firm. My daughter actually helps with some of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's awesome.
Speaker 3:And then we have another social media gal named Alex who helps a lot with that, because I am in the day-to-day in-dated, the partnerships, the outreach that you know we do, and then I also have my own job still. So you know it's a lot, it's definitely a full-time job. It is a lot of time, it's a lot of energy and a lot of efforts, but the rewards are nothing that I've ever felt in my life for working for anything. If I was paid to do this, I would be paid to do this because it's amazing to get somebody's testimonial back and say, literally you saved my life.
Speaker 3:I mean that is so humbling and I understand it so much because of the retreat that I went on and had a chance to kind of decompress from everything, because I did live it on adrenaline, and then I was like, oh my God, who the heck am I now? I mean those weren't my words, but I was like you know, we need this and women need this, and there are men that need this too. It's a different scenario when it comes to guys, because they're not going to sit at a retreat and kumbaya or anything like that, Right, and that's not what the ladies do either. But it's just a different mindset and we've built both programs for for survivors that way, Wow.
Speaker 1:So you've opened it up to men now.
Speaker 3:We did yeah, and it's called the yo bro, I'm brave too. Because men are brave and going through stuff like cancer is something that men generally are not going to want to talk about in an open setting and they're not going to talk about it to their wives because men are bred to, you know, grow up and protect the home and do all this stuff and not have that. But men are just as brave to go through cancer and sometimes that little bit of vulnerability, if you're among a group of men that you're just talking about baseball or you're talking about sports or whatever.
Speaker 3:You know that they have that same commonality. Um, so every eight weeks the men get together and our non-profit pays for them to get together and have that community. And then the month of June, which is National Cancer Survivors Month. This year we'll do our first. It's an all-day male experience.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:That's interesting and their bro, their bro. We don't pay for the bro. They have to pray for themselves, but they can bring a friend with, because it's about connection, it's about community, it's about support and it's all about education too, because you don't know what you don't know.
Speaker 2:Well, you just schooled me on something I thought I guess it's breast cancer awareness is in October, so June is National Cancer Survivors. Month, so like no matter what kind of cancer you had and where it happened.
Speaker 1:So where would you guys, what's your big event, if somebody was listening to this podcast and they're like, hey, you know, that sounds like a worthy cause. Let me see what I can do to help contribute. Do you have like a big event that you do a majority of your fundraising, or do you have fundraisers throughout the year? Kind of walk us through that process.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I would say our biggest event right now is coming up in May it's actually Saturday, may 10th, it's Mother's Day weekend this year and it is at Wally's, desert Turtle. And that event comes from the vision of Maddie and Malia, who are the daughters of Nicole Botello and Michael Botello, who owned Wally's and Maddie is now the owner of.
Speaker 3:Wally's, and they lost their mom to breast cancer and when we had a chance we had mutual friends, that kind of set us up together. We had a chance to talk about this. It was something that, unbeknownst to me, their mom talked about doing before she had passed away. Oh, wow. And they both have said I wish my mom had had these programs and these services and this community when she was going through her cancer. And so this Mother's Day tea is amazing. There's only 200 tickets and it fully funds almost half of the retreat itself and of course it's beautiful, there's a lot of stories, it's a lot of connection and it comes from too. The other thing is women, women support women, mothers supporting mothers, the Tree of Life. I mean, it's all about that. It's not that men can't come to the tea, but it is just something that Maddie is just very proud about and we're very honored to be able to host the tea there. And I know you came, I guess, a couple years ago and I loved the shopping, loved the shopping.
Speaker 1:Definitely built for women right.
Speaker 2:Shopping and tea. She told me she's like you better come to this this year. And I'm like, no, I'm coming. She goes bring your kids. I'm like my boys probably won't want to go, but my girls will probably want to go.
Speaker 1:Right, they would like to.
Speaker 3:It's a celebration of life, it's a celebration of motherhood and it's a celebration of Nicole, who you know for these beautiful young ladies that are also business owners here in town. I know Just flourishing.
Speaker 2:We should get them on the show because they are like young, super young, yeah, maddie's super young and they're just awesome and, man, she knows how to run that business right, yeah, well, she grew up in it.
Speaker 3:Yeah that's true. Yeah, we're very proud of her and she sits on our board and they both are a loving family. We couldn't ask for anything more. They both are loving family. We couldn't ask for anything more. And then, also this year, we'll be honoring Aileen Alvarez, who is my co-founder that we lost this year in October, and her daughters and her mom At the T At the T as well.
Speaker 3:Awesome and that was Maddie and Malia's thought for it and they want to do that for her because Eileen was such a huge part of Shae's. I always say that she was the heart of Shae's and I had the vision and the other stuff. I was the day to day, but she would take care of the things behind the scenes in a more calming and politically correct way. So you know she's very much missed and I miss her every day, especially when we have events. Oh yeah, you know, but she's with us still, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1:So what advice would you give to somebody that's maybe thinking about starting a nonprofit or, you know, has this burning desire to help their community? You know, where would you, what would your advice to? Even where, even to start to kind of do that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so don't go into a nonprofit if you think people are just going to hand you money.
Speaker 1:That's the biggest thing.
Speaker 3:It's a lot of work right it is a lot of work and there's a lot of legal red tape behind it. Get yourself a really, really good nonprofit attorney to put bylaws together Very similar to an HOA board. You have to have all of that stuff. The other thing is is put a business plan together. A nonprofit is a business, like I said in the beginning. It just has a lot more red tape and you're dealing with people that are giving you money, donor dollars, and so if they're giving you lots and lots of money, or if you're accepting state funding or federal funding, there are differences between that and there are restricted funds and there's non-restricted funds. You need to understand that and if you think you're going to pay yourself for a while probably not going to happen.
Speaker 3:And be ready, that people be ready for putting some of your own money up front for that. I mean, I think when we started it, I put up $30,000 of my own money right away because I believed in what we were going to do. And there are licensings, there are bylaws. Like I said, you have to meet with an attorney who knows what they're doing and make sure everything is good to go. Oh my gosh, so put that business plan together.
Speaker 1:It sounds like it. I mean you're running it just like a business. The only difference is the tax return right, and then you can accept donations, but other than that, you still need to bring income to pay your bills and pay people to work. You know, it's the same kind of thing. So word to the wise on that one, guys. Where can people find you if they're looking, If you hear this podcast, Shays Warriors an awesome, awesome charity. Where can they go to find you and find out about your events and all that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, go to wwwshayswarriorsorg, wwwshayswarriorsorg, and it's S-H-A-Y and then warriorsorg, that's where you can find us. We've got the programs, we've got the events. The retreat is on there. Our nominations are opening up. On Thursday you can nominate a warrior for the retreat. The retreat is four days and three nights. Now Nobody knows this yet, so I'll tell you, guys. First.
Speaker 1:Breaking news.
Speaker 3:Breaking news we have partnered with the Ritz-Carlton for the next few years.
Speaker 2:That's a beautiful property.
Speaker 3:Our retreat is made to fully fund these survivors for those four days and three nights. They don't pay anything. Are you?
Speaker 2:still doing 25 women, 25 to 30 women, 25 to 30.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it all depends on funding. Yeah, that's true, that's true, and we watch that, of course, and we work hard to make it happen Well.
Speaker 2:I'm very proud that you're one of my good friends and I'm sure the whole community is just so thankful for you and Shays Warriors and everybody that is involved with Shays Warriors, because it is a ton of work and you know. But I've always tried to tell my kids it's always better to give than to receive, right, so it does. It just fills your little heart.
Speaker 3:We have an amazing board of directors, we have amazing advisory council and our volunteers are the best. Amazing advisory council and our volunteers are the best, and a lot of those volunteers are women or men that have been a warrior themselves and they've gone to the retreats or they've come to the events and they that's their way of giving back. It's a full ripple effect. It's amazing and we could not do this without people like you helping us get the word out. And then also sponsors I mean, mean, that's you again. You've sponsored us before and you've been amazing and and I will continue to.
Speaker 3:So it's great yeah absolutely, and I'm so thankful you're my friend, because me too yeah, love you, thank you well, we want to thank you for coming in and kind of sharing your story with us.
Speaker 1:It was amazing. So everybody out there, shay's warriors, great, non great nonprofit here in the Coachella Valley. If you found any value to this conversation, you know the routine like subscribe and share, and we'll see you guys next time, thank you.